Congratulations!

Sorry I'm so late on the post about the weekend! Here it is finally!

Saturday was a pretty full day for us. First we had Tim & Stephanie Bea's Baby Shower.The men were invited too, so it was Brian's first baby shower ever. I'm pretty sure he loves them now! :) My mom and Mackenzie came too, so of course we had a lot of fun! Here are a couple of pictures from it...

Me, the Mommy-to-be, and my Momma

Brian & Steph

Mom & Brian

me & the pretty Mack-a-tini

Brian & Tim

Mackenzie got creative with the baby clothespins!

Aunt Rachey can't wait to meet her "nephew"!!!

soon enough they'll be known to someone as "mom and dad"

Right after the Bea's shower, Brian & I went home to scoop up Trip and head over to the Witkowski's for Eric's graduation party. Eric graduated from Eastern Illinois University. Congratulations Eric!

Dad & Kevin getting ready to play Beer Pong
Kevin went and changed his shirt so that they would
both have on "zone shirts!"

a great picture of Brian & Momma

Brian & his Momma

What is a party without beer pong?

Eric, the graduate, and his girlfriend, Sabrina

Trip is wiped out from all of the partying!

I love my girl!

Everyone loves the sleepy party animal!

Sabrina, Kristin, & Eric

We sure had a great weekend! Now two more pictures I couldn't resist posting...

Brian & the Tripster watching TV

my baby is getting so big!

Thoughts...

I recently received a really thoughtful message on Facebook from a friend, Maria Bournas. I met Maria a few years ago. She is best friends with my friend, Deana Tokarz. I only really see Maria when we come together for events with Deana, you know, jewelry parties, showers, etc.. but I really wanted to share her note. Maria, thank you for your message. I can't even begin to tell you how touched I am by your kindness!

Me & Deana

Deana & Maria
(I couldn't find one of all three of us!)

Here is her message:

Hey Rachel,
I saw your blog, and think it's great! My cousin went through IVF (she now has 4yr old triplets!!!) Anyway, I came across this poem that she had and thought you would enjoy it. I wish you and Brian the best of luck in your journey, I think you'll make great parents.

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

________________________________________________________________

I know that many of you who read this blog are women who were able to conceive without much effort and I hope that you didn't take this poem the wrong way. In no way did I post this in order to make anyone feel bad. I wanted to share this poem because it really struck a cord with me. Throughout this process, I have had a lot going on in my head. I guess this poem helped me, just a little bit more, to realize that everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to. This poem is right...I have hurt, I have endured, I have learned to appreciate life...I will be a mother and a wonderful one at that.

To My Love...

Just three years ago today we became husband and wife, I can't believe how the time has flown. I thank God everyday for bringing us together. Thank you for always believing in me, supporting me, and always being there for me. Thank you for your constant love and care. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. I LOVE YOU!

Mr. & Mrs. Brian Witkowski

6/10/2006

Priceless Memories...

you are my strength, you are my rock, you are my protector

...and you always take my breath away.

Happy Anniversary Brian!

I LOVE YOU

Update!

Surprisingly I had my "Day 3" appointment yesterday morning before school. I went into the office for my usual ultrasound and blood work. Since my new cycle had started, I was really hoping that my estrogen level had decreased and that we would be ready to begin the donor process.

They ended up taking FOUR vials of blood - yikes! - (they usually only take one) and then I went in for my ultrasound. The ultrasound was normal, nothing really to report, except that last week my lining measured 8.6 and then this week it decreased to 4.4. Which isn't surprising ... I just got my period. But, it gave them (and me) hope that my estrogen decreased as well. Sue said that we would have to wait to see what my blood work showed, but that we would probably wait until my next cycle to begin the process - boooo! There really is no way to know yet without the blood work, because once again, my body has not been typical throughout this whole process - so they just have to wait to see.

Sue called me around 2:30pm yesterday afternoon with my blood work results. She was very excited to tell me that my estrogen did in fact decrease! So, we are READY TO BEGIN THE PROCESS (yes I am screaming!) AND THAT I NEED TO BEGIN TAKING THE BIRTH CONTROL TONIGHT!!!!!! We aren't waiting until next cycle...we are beginning the process RIGHT NOW!!!

I know...I know...calm down...breathe...

Sue said that she looked at the calendar and it looks like we'll be ready for the transfer either the last week of July or the first week of August! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!! We are finally getting ready to do this!!!!

So, if you remember - which you probably don't - from the biopsy cycle, I will begin by taking the birth control pill in order to start regulating my cycle to the point they can control. I need to be two weeks ahead of Mackenzie's natural cycle. (They will control my cycle to work around her natural cycle.) I am a bit further than two weeks at this point, so I may take the b/c pill for a little longer than I did before. Here is a small crash course on the events of the donor cycle...remember this is about a 7 weeks process...After the pill, I will begin the rounds (and rounds and rounds) of injections...we'll work on building up my lining...they'll start to prepare Mack with IVF injections...as soon as we are both pumped up, Brian will do his thing, Mack will do her thing...and then a week later, they'll transfer and I'll do my thing...then a week later from there (I think) we'll find out if we're pregnant or not. Obviously it is way more involved than that...I promise, you'll get it all in more detail as it is occurring this summer. OH MY GOSH...THIS SUMMER!!! AHHHH!

Thank you Thank you Thank you Mackenzie!
I just can't tell you how much this means to Brian & I.
We love you!

I am so lucky.

Please pray for Mackenzie, Brian & I that this process goes smoothly. Stay posted...there is sure to be more to come this summer!

Legally Blonde and my Trip

Mom, Kris, Liz, Mack & I, along with Mackenzie's roommate, Ashley, and our friends Diane, Christina, and Rachel Vaca traveled downtown Chicago on Saturday morning for the 2:00pm Matinee of Legally Blonde the Musical. Mackenzie was so pumped that she even bought all of us pink Lei's to wear! We had a great time and everyone loved the show. Too bad it has already left Chicago because I think we might have all gone again!

Brian & I have the biggest car so I was chosen to drive...lucky me!

Mom & Mackenzie
They already had Legally Blonde shirts to wear!

Ashley & Lizzie
"Whoever thought tangerine was the
new pink is seriously disturbed." -Elle Woods

There is nothing like setting the timer,
placing the camera on the dash, and then
hoping it takes the picture before the light turns green!

The Milazzo Girls at Corner Bakery for lunch

The whole group - all nine of us!

Brian is coaching a U-15 Baseball Tournament team and had games all day on Saturday, so my dad offered to watch Trip for us! He sure had a busy day with Pepper and Trip...I don't think they left each other alone once! Thanks Dad for watching our girl! She had a great day with you!

Enjoying the bully stick together...of course
Pep let go as soon as I took the picture!

Pep was getting very tired of Tripsy at this point
...check out her paws...
she was blocking Trip from getting any closer...
she was ready for her to GO HOME!

So, I never thought that I would be one of those people who takes a million pictures of my dog. I have made fun of my mom for years about how many pictures she took of Moosha, Bisquit, and now Pepper...her camera was always full of pictures of just the dog. Well, I was wrong. I am JUST like my mom! All I do is take pictures of my Tripsy girl. Here are a few...there are more...many many more...and yes...I have become a total dog girl...once again, something I really never thought I would be...I guess it just took me having my own to gush over! Seriously can you even wonder what it'll be like when Brian & I finally have kids?! Oh lord...watch out!

Trip resting with Lizzie

Trip is trying to figure out what was going on in the kitchen.

Trip decided to try to take a nap in her toy basket!

The Waiting Game

Our first dance to "So This Is Love" (from Cinderella)

Brian & I in Kauai, Hawaii, on our Honeymoon

no 'trips' for us now with our baby girl, Trip!

I ended up having my doctor's appointment this morning at 8:00am. They didn't have any early morning or late afternoon appointments available on Thursday and because school isn't out just yet, they had me come in today. The nurses were a bit surprised that I still haven't gotten my period. They said that if my ultrasound didn't show anything that my blood work would help tell them what is going on.

I'm going to be completely honest here...in the back of my mind...I was totally hoping...that it was because...I was pregnant....

The ultrasound revealed that NO! I am not pregnant - duh! - but it turned out to be a completely normal ultrasound, thank goodness! Kelly, the u/s tech, took three u/s pictures, one of my lining and then one of my right ovary and one of my left ovary. Each picture was normal and didn't tell us much. They called later on the in afternoon and told me that my estrogen level is now at 109! (remember...they need it to get down to 20) Two weeks ago it was around 450. Sue didn't say anything about my period...so I'm thinking that once my estrogen level decreases to the appropriate level then I'll probably get it. They want me to keep the same schedule and come back in two weeks, Wednesday, June 17, or on Day Three of my period - if it ever comes.

So...I'm back to the waiting game...yay...thank goodness for my distraction named Trip!


Random shout outs....

Aunt Kim and I dancing the night away at Grandpa Milazzo's 80th!
I'm not sure what dance we're doing here!

me & my daddy-o dancing to our song

me & Krissy at a Cubs game

Kris & Mackie have been WONDERFUL babysitters to Trip this week while I'm still in school...thank you thank you thank you girls! Love you!

What's to come...
OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!!! The Milazzo Women are excitedly headed into the city on Saturday to see Legally Blonde the Musical! We could be any more pumped - especially mom, Mack & Liz! - keep on the lookout for pictures of the big event!